Unfairness of Life

When one of my nieces recently graduated from college, the speaker at her baccalaureate discussed "Is God Fair?" in such a way that really made me think. IS HE? He is just, and forgiving, and merciful. But is He fair? And what makes us think He should be fair? Do we do all we can for Him? I know I don't. I expect Him to do a lot for me, but I don't really give a lot of myself to Him at all - I don't even attend regular church services. I live my life mainly for myself, though I do a few charitable things. I try to justify myself because I know I'm a nurturer by nature and I think that makes me feel better about myself. But, I know I'm not doing what is pleasing to God, even if I do put other people first a lot of times. (Especially since a lot of times I'm complaining to myself even when I am trying to be selfless). But it does seem that events in life are overwhelming unfair, most recently to people I know. The loss of loved ones, especially unexpected losses, are especially unfair. And sometimes you just don't seem to get a break, which makes it unbearable. You just don't want to get out of bed in the morning for fear something else bad will happen. And even if you go through your day and nothing bad happens, you can just feel so sad because of all the overwhelming stuff that has already taken place. It's like you're stuck in a place where you don't want to be but you can't seem to find your way out.