I made it through another Father's Day

You'd think as I get older, this day would get easier. However, to my dismay, it does not. I miss my dad horribly and I am not even sure that I knew him that well. My therapist says I did know him because he spent so much time with me during my formative years and he shaped my personality (and my mother attests to that). But I just wish I could remember him more. I also wish he were alive so I could see him and touch him and talk to him. I get jealous of people I know who dream of their past loved ones - I don't remember my dreams, so I don't even get to experience his presence there. I get so lost sometimes and know if he were here things might not be easier, but at least I would have someone else on my side. Don't get me wrong, my family is great, but when you have three brothers who have their own families, it's hard sometimes to get a word in edgewise. I know with my dad I would have his undivided attention. And he would enjoy time with my nieces and nephews immensely - they have turned out to be such amazing people. I just really do miss him, more and more.