MySpace, Anxiety, A Year in Retrospective

Okay, I've succumbed to the peer pressure to get a MySpace page. I love it. I've reconnected with a lot of girls from high school, which is pretty cool, and I'm getting a lot of info on the bands I like. I know, I'm a dork. But, it is something else that takes my mind off tedious things and I like catching up with old friends. Trust me, I'm not scamming for hook-ups or anything . . .

I know I'm writing a LOT today, but I'm really trying to work through my anxiety. I can't afford to have a panic attack today - have to go to work tonight! You might think I worry too much, but I can't help it. I know when things are going to happen to me - for instance, I have a sinking suspicion my ex is gonna call me soon, and I'm not sure I can ignore the call again. I get this weight on my chest and I feel I can't breathe - what with my tire, then excessive worrying about stuff and I know I have to deal with things as they come, but I tend to build up things to worry about. I just have to remember to breathe . . .

My birthday last year was wonderful, and I'm trying to think how I can have a great one this year, too (especially since it's such a monumental age). But since my last birthday a lot of stuff has happened: my nephew-in-law was in a horrible freak accident and later died from it, I traveled back and forth to Baltimore to try to help out my niece, my former best girl friend decided to take a 'break' from me and has never decided to contact me again, I decided to give up trying to sell Mary Kay, I went to California for a wonderful vacation, I went to Las Vegas for an amazing time, I got deeper into debt and decided to get out of it once and for all, I started counseling, my best guy friend's dad died, I avoided a bad situation while walking alone after an event one night, I was in a car accident and totaled my car, I have had to see my chiropractor for back injuries due to the accident, my ex decided we'd never speak again (yet he's called me since then), I reconnected with some old friends, I started a part-time job, I gained and lost the same board seat for a non-profit, I've lost 17 pounds (after probably gaining 10), and I've decided to accept things as they are and work with what I can.